What are Appropriate Bounds in Dating and Marriage?

Have you ever wondered why someone would get jealous of their partner talking to someone of the opposite sex? It honestly has never bothered or concerned me until this week began. Whether that person is talking to them through face-to-face, text message, or Facebook message, it can create feelings of jealousy or betrayal. What do those feelings do to a relationship? I have noticed that once those feelings are apparent in the relationship, they are really hard to get rid of and have the relationship be where it was before. So what are appropriate boundaries that need to be set in a relationship?
Image result for datingIn this life, the different experiences that we have carry us upward like stairs. In this case, we will use dating and marriage for the stairs. So the first step up in the stairs is Dating. When you are dating, you get to know lots of people and you are talking to lots of people making friends. You have conversations with everybody because you are not tied down or committed to a single person. During my very first semester at BYU-I, I had a date with someone new every single weekend. I met lots of people and although I did not enjoy it as much as I should have, I was able to get lots of experience with getting to know people. Going on dates with people is one of the best ways to get to know someone and the date doesn't have to be anything extraordinary but can be as simple as getting an ice cream cone.
The next step up the stairs is Courtship. Now courtship is when you become exclusive with someone you have gone on multiple dates with. This step is where you define your relationship and you begin to close off old relationships with friends of the opposite sex. This can happen naturally or this will happen over time as you grow closer to your boyfriend or girlfriend and only desire to be with them. This is the step that you should begin discussing boundaries and how each other will feel if the other talks to a friend of the opposite sex. Sometimes this can be hard as we carry friendships with us for long periods of time and then cut those ties when we begin dating someone. Each of those boundaries should be how we would desire it to be in our marriage although it is just courting at the moment.
Image result for engagement

The next step up is Engagement. In engagement, there are very clear and defined boundaries between a couple. You have fully committed yourself to be with that person for the rest of your life and are no longer dating to find a mate. The boundaries that you set for your relationship in engagement should be the expectation of how you want your marriage to be and now that you are preparing to be married, you can treat those boundaries that way. Once you are engaged, you have the right to be jealous if you find out that your fiance is talking with their high school boyfriend/girlfriend. You have completely committed yourself to be with them forever and you should be practicing that instead of talking to high school relationships.
The next step up is marriage! Finally made it to the top of the stairs but now what do you do? You completely commit yourself to be with this person and you begin your life together. You treat this relationship different than any other relationship that you are in because you love each other and want things to continue to work for the rest of your life. With each and every step there are different boundaries that can be made. But when is the proper time to discuss what those boundaries are? I would love to hear your opinion or any questions that anyone has about boundaries! I honestly think that once you have decided that you are going to be with that person for the rest of your life and are getting engaged, then that is the best time to figure out your boundaries for your relationship. Please feel free to comment your thoughts and opinions :)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Transition Into Marriage

Image
Dating is such a fun time of life and is filled with brand new adventures! There are many different opportunities that come up through beginning a new relationship with someone. Relationships all vary on the couple, some relationships move fast and some move slow. There is no set limit to how long you should date before asking the big question. Once the question has been asked, the engagement is over and you are now married, there are a lot of new transitions that have never been experienced up to this point of life. I personally am not married so I have not experienced these transitions but for most people they can take a lot of time and adjusting. A few of the transitions that you go through after becoming married are sharing a bed, sharing your money, sharing a bathroom, sharing your living space, sharing chores and house duties, and sharing your food. For being a college or university student and living in your own apartment, you get the opportunity to experience living wi...
Read more

The Family Under Stress

Image
  What are kinds of things that can trigger stress in a family? Is your family under some circumstance that is putting stress into the relationship? There can be many things that influence and effect the family. With different stressors, different outcomes can come from the triggers. Some of these triggers could be Finances, Divorce, Re-marriage, Illness, Death, and it could be many others that affect families. How can we better handle these stressful times as a family? What does stress actually mean? Stress is defined by Google as a state of mental or emotional strain or tension. Stress is something that we put on ourselves by analyzing the situation that we are in. We can be going through our everyday activities and experience stress from work, school or peers. Stress can happen anywhere if we allow it too. It can occur in the same re-occurring events throughout a day or it could be a brand new experience that brings on that stress. It is important to remember that some ...
Read more

Working to Provide

Image
Dad's take on a lot of responsibility in providing for their family. With each family circumstance it is different but the majority of families have a father who works to provide for the family. Growing up that is what we were taught, the dad goes to work while the mom stays at home with the kids and cleans the house but what we are also taught is that in this world it is impossible to live off of one income and that to provide for a family, both parents need to work to help provide for their family.       At what point do you need to start having a double income to help provide for the family? In my family, my mom started working when I was in 7th grade due to my dad getting laid off from his job. Since then my family has adjusted to having both parents work and in a lot of family situations this is the case. When both parents are working it helps bring in that little bit of extra cash to pay for needs of the family. How has both parents affected your family si...
Read more